Just GO!

Tonight is not the night for waiting.

Tonight I question. This will be a long post, fasten your seat belts.

My mind is restless. People are good at coming up with excuses. I am not in the mood to understand. Why can't I just fly to another country tonight? Why can't I call work and tell them I won't be coming in? Why do I need to hold down a job? There will always be work. The problem with working is that it takes away the time you are supposed to be living.

In life, I just want to be happy. I am not going to get happy by working, I think that is tried and tested. I believe it is a sound statement if I say, 'Happiness is obtained by the experiences we have.' I also believe our experiences are limited if we stay in one place. By experiences, I am talking change-your-life moments; real experiences. Therefore I conclude that if I leave and go somewhere else I am more likely to encounter one of these real experiences, thereby making my life happier.

There comes an age when one is simply too old to continue searching for these experiences. That is when you retire and stay in one place. I am quite sure that, if you counted the number of life changing experiences someone who stayed still their whole life had, and compared it to the number you will have after retirement, the number will be quite similar by the time you are both on your deathbed.

Of course, this cannot be guaranteed, and right now 80% of the people reading this are thinking, 'What a load of bullshit! She is saying we have to travel to be happy!' I'm not. I'm just saying that, personally, I want to be happy. To be happy I have to know myself. To know myself I have to have had the largest variety to experiences possible, as that determines ones personality traits. And I am not going to have the largest variety of experiences possible at home.

The main reason I am still at home is, I am afraid. Of what exactly I cannot tell you. Perhaps it is the mold we all have been raised to... All I know is that tonight, that lingering thought of, 'Just go!' has a louder voice than all the others in my head. The desire to leave Australia is far greater than my perceived rewards should I stay. I also realise, in this mindset, that nothing terribly bad will happen if I just leave. I'll lose my job. Woop-di-doo. That's about it. Essentially, if I were ever going to be at a point in my life to just leave, it would be now. I have close to zero responsibilities, and yet I just cannot pin-point what is keeping me here.

Anyway, to sleep now. Tomorrow is another day at work.