Tonight I know I love him. I had a moment... a sweet, beautiful moment... where I let the feeling fill me. I felt how good it would feel to see him again; to feel his touch, his kiss... to be consumed by his love for me. And yet two days ago I was furious at him. How is it that I can feel so much for one person? He is coming over later today, after I've slept, to help me rearrange my room. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I am sure that I am still madly in love with him.

And that draws the conclusion that I am not ready, nor do I want, a relationship with another man. No matter how different the men are. I am in love. I will always be in love with him. It is not fair to any other guy for me to start something. Which is why I must talk to The Boy and tell him this will not work. I am not ready for any sort of commitment. I am not over my Mr. Big, and therefore The Boy cannot stick around.

Fuck.

He is my Mr. Big.


Fuck.

Dammit

Dammit! He won't get out of my head. I think I need to see a psychologist. Maybe they can help me. I want to know if it was this hard for him when he went through this... I want to call. Fuck it. I'll call. Even though he's probably still out partying, or maybe even at some random chicks house... argh. Do I really want to call? Alright, I will text him.

I knew he wouldn't reply straight away. Now I'm wondering why.... sleeping? Sleeping with someone? Still out? Argh. GET OUT

Who are you to make me wait?

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
---Who was I to make you wait---
Just one chance
Just one breath
---Just in case there's just one left---
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
---I keep dreaming you'll be with me---
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
---I don't see you anymore---

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
---Give anything but I won't give up---
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
---I keep dreaming you'll be with me---
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
---I don't see you anymore---

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
---I need to hear you say---
That I love you
---I have loved you all along---
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
---Hold on to me and, never let me go---
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
---Hold on to me and, never let me go---
Keep breathing
---Hold on to me and, never let me go---
Keep breathing
---Hold on to me and, never let me go---