Tonight I know I love him. I had a moment... a sweet, beautiful moment... where I let the feeling fill me. I felt how good it would feel to see him again; to feel his touch, his kiss... to be consumed by his love for me. And yet two days ago I was furious at him. How is it that I can feel so much for one person? He is coming over later today, after I've slept, to help me rearrange my room. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I am sure that I am still madly in love with him.
And that draws the conclusion that I am not ready, nor do I want, a relationship with another man. No matter how different the men are. I am in love. I will always be in love with him. It is not fair to any other guy for me to start something. Which is why I must talk to The Boy and tell him this will not work. I am not ready for any sort of commitment. I am not over my Mr. Big, and therefore The Boy cannot stick around.
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