Getting Dragged Back

If you couldn't tell by my last post, I'm quite hormonal at the moment. This may have exploded last night and mainly tonight on the phone to my Mr. Big. I turned into the mutant psycho chick from hell and it wasn't until he said, 'I'm getting really annoyed with you now,' that I realised what I had turned into. I promptly got off the phone and reflected. I'm not sure what it was that suddenly stopped the hormonal influx, and as the only factor I can think of is him saying that, that must be it.

I was really questioning him and why he loves me, if he loves me, how he loves me, why he did this, why he did that... Guys, take your most horrible perception of a chick being upset with you and that's what I was. It was ghastly. I like that word.

There were good things to come of this, however:

• We are both reflecting on our relationship - how we'd like it, how it is, what we feel and mostly are we happy?
• We decided to take a week's break to determine this.
• I came up with the idea of having monthly breaks from one another so we don't get sick of each other or fall into a rut, and to re-evaluate, should we feel the need to.
• These breaks mean entirely no communication. No texts, emails, calls, or face-to-face contact.
• Lastly, I realised I turned into psycho bitch and apologised. He understands how hormones can do that sometimes, but also appreciates that the concerns I raise under the influence of hormones are some genuine thoughts I just haven't consciously realised yet.

This is why I love him. He clears my head. Makes me think logically. He makes me take a step back from the building and look around the corner for a side door. He has had a dramatic effect on my life and changed the way I think for the better, and I am eternally grateful. Lastly,
I love the effect he has on me, the spell.