Who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I want to be perceived? Does it matter how I am perceived? To be genuinely happy with my life do I have to figure out who I am or just forget myself and live in the moment?
A friend told me another friend's honest opinion of me. It was, like me, quite blunt and to the point. Yes, it stung a little. Am I really like that? Was I really a bitch at that incident? Am I really pig-headed enough to believe he was trying to pick me up? Does it matter how I acted as long as I reacted truly to myself? I know a lot of people can't handle my personality as I am quite... immediate. Do I honestly care what people think of me? Yes, to a degree, I most certainly do. Should I change myself so that when I hear opinions like this I hear a reflection of what I want myself to be or should I just accept that my experiences have shaped me into myself and that everyone is entitled to their opinion? I am very divided on this.
On one hand, I want people to say that I am what I morally aim for: honest, wanting the best for those less fortunate, caring, giving, good-hearted, genuinely concerned for others etc. On the other, I do not want to actively change my personality on the basis of others. Perhaps if I continue towards my moral aims in life these opinions will naturally follow.
If my quest in life is to find out who I am, will I regret not living in the moment? Similarly, if my quest in life is to forget myself, live purely in moment and make every experience as awesome as it can be, will I regret not finding myself? Does one of these lead to the other or must an equilibrium be found?
In the end, will I look back and say, "That was who I was. That was what I did. And I do not regret a moment of it."
2 comments:
Don't change yourself for anyone but yourself.
But in saying that, I personally make exceptions for people who can't really handle me by not doing certain things around them. It's not so much changing but not being my complete self I guess.
I do think you are a good hearted, caring, beautiful individual.
Also I am hungry
Yes I calm myself down around certain people too... It's odd that we are so scared to be ourselves around certain people we feel can't handle it. Perhaps because they've been so manipulated by society that people have to behave a certain way they can't handle anything different.
Thanks Spyn,
You are an awesome friend, yessir.
Also run time.
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